The Audition
(Mainstream/literary fiction)
“I didn’t know Goodwill sold instruments,” Josh said and snickered as he wiped down his bass.
The girl ignored him.
“You have some wicked dings in it,” Josh said.
She leaned the bass away from his outstretched hand, “I’d rather you not touch it.”
The girl made her way to the front chair and draped herself around the bass’s exterior. Her left fingers blurred as her right hand glided like a feather on the wind. For two minutes, Josh marveled at how instead of her playing the bass, the instrument played her.
He knew he would miss first chair again this year.
(According to WordPress’ word count, it’s 100 exactly!)
Fab story – glad Josh got his comeuppance!
Thanks, elappleby!
I like a dose of ‘just desserts’ Nicely done.
Thanks, Sandra!
Oooh, love this! Josh can eat it
Oh, and I meant to add–love the line about her hand gliding like a feather on the wind…
Thanks for the feedback, Haley, and for taking the time to read my piece!
No thoughts; it’s my day off.
(Just letting you know I was reading everything.) I agree with the already-expressed sentiments regarding Josh and his behavior. Thanks for helping him get his.
Haha… Thanks, sustainabilitea!
Lovely story! I enjoyed the description of her playing the bass, draping her body around it. I imagine that Joshua will learn something from her in the coming year….
Nice story, I like how you give Josh his lesson there. Looking forward to seeing more from you on FF.
Hi Carla,
Great story. Glad that snotty boy got his comeupance. Ron
jealous. he’s just jealous. ^^and i really loved your ending.
Very nice. I’m sure Josh not only got his comeuppance but learned a lesson about snap judgement.
Hey, that’s life in the big city. Oh well …
Good stuff. Thanks!!!
Dear Carla,
This was one of my favorites this week. A gem of a performance.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks so much, dm!
Wonderful. Guys like Josh would never learn…
Hi, brud! Unfortunately, no, they never do. Writing Josh was easy; I’ve known so many like him…
If I didn’t reply to your comment personally, I apologize. I appreciate all the feedback and the time you took to stop by and check it out! I always visit commenters sites, so I’ll be dropping by your place soon!
Well done!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/cliches-friday-fictioneers-late/
we readers love to hate the bad guy. way to make us see him in so few words. nice job.
I really liked this story. I felt her spine, when she said… “I’d rather you not touch it.”
love the ending. but when “the instrument played her,” that almost seems like she was less talented than she actually was. consider somehow saying “she and the instrument became one.” or something like that. well done.