Things I Wish I Hated

1) Mayonnaise: I must have it on any sandwhich, but it’d better be mayo and not that Miracle Whip shit, which is just nasty. I will eat a sandwich plain if all that’s available is Miracle Whip. Better yet, put a jar of Duke’s mayo on the table; those of you from at least a tri-state area should know what I’m talking about. I hardly know of anyone born and raised here who doesn’t know to use Duke’s mayo.

2) Sleeping: I could get so much more stuff done.

3) My iBook: See previous reason.

4) Shopping: My bank account would be much healthier.

5) Chicken fingers and french fries: My waistline would be much healthier.


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