I went to lunch with my parents the other Sunday, and after lamenting about my work situation, we began discussing what other people were doing. I mentioned that a friend’s daughter is coming to work at our office for a while, but she’s debating on going to grad school to get her master’s in library science.
“That’s what you should have done, Carla” my dad said. “Been a librarian.”
“But that wasn’t what I wanted to do,” I said.
“Well, you know, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do.”
Sitting in the back seat of their Camry, I felt like a teenager again. Of course, there are other times when I feel like that – usually it happens when I look to see what I’ve accomplished and I think that I have no career despite being 33 and a college graduate.
I know my dad wasn’t trying to be critical. He grew up in a different time, a different place and a different economy. In his world, you did what you had to do to get by. Doing what you wanted to make a living was a luxury that couldn’t be afforded. Still, what he said is sticking with me.
I know I’m doing what I want when I’m at home – writing. I get a lot more done when I’m off for that one week out of the month. If I could ever build up my home businesses, I could leave my day job and write every day at home. (For those of you who wonder, I can’t mention my businesses on this site because of consultant guidelines, but feel free to e-mail me. I’ll be happy to tell you all about them! 🙂 )
I don’t know. I guess that’s the gist of this rant. That and the fact that I’m not getting any younger and I don’t want to plug text onto a template for the rest of my life. How do you silence the inner naysayer in your head? Is there some sort of anvil that will knock it unconscious? If so, could someone tell me about it?