1 — After avoiding American Idol last season, I had forgotten how much I DESPISE results shows until Thursday night. The more I hear Ryan Seacrest say, “And we’ll find out… (way too long of a dramatic pause) right after the break,” the more I wish him a slow, torturous death in the very near future. I didn’t watch Tuesday and Wednesday nights’ shows — because I was curled up in a ball waiting the Spawn of Satan to leave my digestive system — but the decisions seemed like the right ones. However, Mr. Teeth up there with his microphone and his annoying attempt at dramatic suspense is going to keep me from enjoying the rest of the season.
2 — How hard is it for a cashier to look a customer IN THE EYE? We were at Tar-jay last night (where thankfully, the lights did not go out this time) and the clerk said a maximum of ten words and could not be bothered to even glance at us while handing me the receipt. Just rude.
3 — I have noticed some trees around Greenville are already blooming. I hate it when they bloom this early. I want to scream at them, “WAIT! Don’t you know where you are? Don’t you know that the month of March has given the upstate of SC some real bummer of winter storms? Come on, Spring Break during my junior year of college there were at least eight inches of snow on the ground! Just stop it already ’cause the frost is gonna come back and you’re gonna get cold and your blooms are gonna turn brown way before you sprout leaves and that’s just not attractive.” Well, that’s what I’d yell if it weren’t for, you know, other people seeing and hearing me do that… and thinking I was crazy… … … yeah.
4 — I just have to share this because I’m so thankful that it’s about no one in my family. My hairdresser’s mother-in-law made a gift request for tickets to see Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Either one of those two by themselves might be okay for me to see — if the tickets were free — but together, I don’t think there’s enough wine to go with all their cheesiness or a venue big enough to hold all the insulin needed for their syrupy sweetness. They are, indeed, too sappy for Sappy Chick. However, some people are so anxious to see this couple do everything but throw down and do the horizontal mambo on stage that they’re willing to pay $250 per ticket to see such a spectacle. Let me say that again — $250. A. TICKET. ONE. TICKET. JUST. ONE. One. The loneliest number still brings the most ludicrous amount that I have ever seen in my life. I could probably count on one hand the number of people I’d pay $100 to see, and yet this woman wanted her family to pay $500 so that she and her husband could see the Good-God-Just-Get-a-Room-Already Couple of all Time. Unbe-freakin’-lievable.
5 — I am going through Alias withdrawals. I want me some Spy Daddy. I want me some Spy Mommy. I want me some Marshall geek talk. I want me some Sark (hubba hubba). I want me some Vaughn NOT being dead (oh lordy, do I want me some of that! :-P). I want me some Sydney back in action, kickin’ ass and takin’ names. And all of this makes me realize how much I am gonna miss this show when it’s gone. There’s only so many times I’ll be able to watch the DVDs without Hubby sneaking away with them and burying them in an undisclosed location.