Call Me Slacker McSlackerton

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I've done the basics this week, and that's been the best I can do. I've gotten up, made it to work, put in my eight hours, eaten three meals, and collapsed into bed every night this week without accomplishing anything. And that feels lousy.

It all started out on Monday with a really bad PMS episode and me crying at the drop of a hat. I've got several things weighing on me. I've got a job that leaves me unsatisfied, a weight problem I've struggled with all my life, and now some financial issues.

The stress has left me with a lack the motivation for working on anything — my writing, my exercise regimen, my eating plan, our financial plan. I just shove it all in the corner and refuse to look at it.

So here I sit on a Saturday night feeling worthless and hopeless. Up until January, I took medication for anxiety/depression problems, but I'm tired of relying on drugs. I've done it for four and a half years, and I don't think I've given other treatment methods a real shot.

In January, I quit taking meds and focused on a eating plan and exercise routine. I lost 15 pounds and felt really good. Then I started having stomach problems — not on the level of the gall bladder issues I had last year, but enough to eat through all my sick days — which has been diagnosed as stomach acid.

I got off my routine, and I just haven't gotten back on track. In the meantime, my mental health has gone downhill to the point that I'm seeing it as a problem again. My therapist told me that I needed to watch for the signs that led me to start taking meds in the first place, and I have seen some of those symptoms return.

The easy way out is to just go get the prescription refilled and start popping those pills again, but I don't want to take meds for the rest of my life. I think if I get back on track with the exercise and eating right, I'll be okay.

Now, to start dragging my ass out of bed at five-freakin'-thirty again… 

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8 thoughts on “Call Me Slacker McSlackerton

  1. It’s crazy how stress can make you sick and completely exhaust you. A couple weeks ago I was like that until I stepped back and started trying to take care of myself. I hope you feel better soon.

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  2. I know how you feel about being on meds. I’m on lots of hormones for female issues and they make me feel horrible but if I don’t take them, it’s not good.

    I hope you find some way to stay off your pills or find something else that works for you.

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  3. PMS is an insidious disease that, because it only hits females, and not every female at that, is often overlooked and not taken seriously. Those who know that death grip it can put on you, for about 7 days out of every 28, know that you are wrestling with a real problem.

    Good luck on battling the depression, PMS, and a new job search. I think that you need to look for a new job (one more thing on an already long to-do list, I know) because how can anyone be happy if you are doing something that makes you unhappy for 8 hours a day? Not possible.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  4. You did it before, you can do it now! We all believe in you. I must say good luck with 5:30am πŸ˜€ I can barely get myself out of bed at 6am these days (might have something to do with going to bed around midnight :D)

    You can do it!

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