Two Years, Almost 30,000 Hits, And One Blogging Douchebag

April 1st marked my two-year blogaversary, and as I start writing this post, this site has had 29,955 visits. Through’s stats, I’m seeing a lot of visits come from searches about gall bladder problems and stomach viruses. Perhaps I should change the name of the blog to “Sappy Chick’s Digestive System.”

I haven’t been to the blog exchanges in a while. Every couple of months or so, I might surf around to get a few credits, but mainly, I just don’t have the time. Blogs on the level of dooce and other “celebrities via blogging” are going to be harder and harder to come by as so many people start their own sites.

I’m definitely not aspiring to that level of popularity. I mean, it’d be awesome to pay my bills by writing about my life. I’d love to log on here one day and see 859 comments on a post — and have each one be from a different person, mind you, not some conversation between a handful of people.

Technorati says that around 20 blogs that link to this site, which means that, hopefully, those 20 people are stopping by on a regular basis. I feel pretty good about that. According to one blogger (with whom I no longer associate), that if we bloggers aren’t growing our audience by posting entries filled with passion and magnitude, we should be banned from having our own site altogether.

This blogger — let’s just call him Douchebag Wacko Bowels, perhaps Wacko for short — believes that in order to start a blog, you should have some sort of license, and to obtain said license, you would have to provide “a need that you are meeting” as well as “a publication plan for 7 day a week [sic] coverage.”

I can only assume that megalomaniac Wacko would love to be the head of the “Blog Police” that could “arrest” those who fail to be interesting. In actuality, Wacko would be most likely to delete the blogs he disagrees with, seeing as how he deletes or blocks comments on his own site that contradict the belief system. However, if you disagree politely enough, you’ll get a “Thanks for the comment [insert name here].”

Never mind the fact that he contradicts himself all the time. Here are some quotes supplied by a newfound blogging buddy and former Wacko reader:

  • “I love radio. It is Theatre of the Mind. I was raised on radio. Every time I hear those simpering, ill-spoken interruptions I change the channel. The most pernicious decline in the American news media newsroom, however, is that of MSNBC.”
  • “I am a big MSNBC fan.”
  • “Let me go on the record to say I love Don Imus on MSNBC in the morning.”
  • “I completely despise Tucker Carlson for his interruptive, smarmy, pseudo-intellectual style.”
  • “MSNBC is becoming unwatchable during the day. Tucker Carlson, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann are the only good shows.”

Let me also give you a version of what transpired between me and Wacko. For the better part of a year, I was a daily reader and commenter on his site; however, twice he wanted to ban me from his site because I tried to joke around and he took it so personally. I chalked it up to the impersonal nature of the Internet, apologized both times, and was graciously welcomed back into the fold.

Eventually, I began contributing a couple of articles. At his suggestion, I asked for an “assignment” for the site. He wanted me to go to the local homeless shelter and interview three families/individuals about their situation — how they got there, what their days are like, what their hopes and dreams are.

I declined the assignment and told him that I felt I would be invading their privacy. I politely told him that I believed I would be exploiting their situation. He responded that I was “shallow and cruel” and that he no longer wanted me to write for his blog.

That was more than a year ago, and in the past few months, I have continued to read his blog to witness the gradual inflation of his ego by his own stroking and the consequential dwindling of his regular readers.

But enough negativity! I’m ending this on a positive note! I want to thank those of you who have stopped by over the past two years, and especially those who keep coming back. That means that I must be entertaining someone… and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

P.S. Thursday is the April edition of 12 of 12 2.0. Charge your digital camers/cell phone cameras accordingly.


11 thoughts on “Two Years, Almost 30,000 Hits, And One Blogging Douchebag

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  1. Bravo, Carla! Douchebag, indeed. You forgot to mention how he brags about all the comments he gets when over half of them are written by himself, not just in response, but to get those numbers up.

    I found a blog today where he encouraged a woman to put her dog on a video camera (she called it her LucyCam) and he clearly has stated in his warped view of Internet laws and protocol that it is an abomination to show animals and children on personal websites. Whichever way the wind is blowing. Gotta get that audience up!

    According to Technorati, his page views have declined 33% over the last 3 months. That should tell you something.


  2. And who, my darling spouse, wanted permisson to verbally kick this douche (no bag, just douche) in the balls and make him cry for his mommy a year ago?

    Who said he was a worthless, ego maniacal, self-serving, posturing prick and he didn’t deserve your time and attention?

    Yeah…that’d be me.

    The man said bad things about my wife and while YOU may have forgiven his trespass, I most certainly have not. And after you mended fences with the dick he DID IT AGAIN not six months later.

    In fact, just knowing now that the fact my blog exists at all pisses him off makes me all the prouder to have foisted it upon the internet at large. I think I’ll write something that will help with “growing my audience by posting entries filled with passion and magnitude”.

    Perhaps something about putting my socks on, or taking out the garbage this morning. He should hate the hell out of that!

    I don’t need hits, I don’t need comments, I don’t need readers, and I definitely don’t need approval from anyone including that douche (no bag, just douch). All I need is the knowledge that Bowel Movement “doesn’t approve” of my actions and the mere existance of Cinlach’s Place gets his crotchless panties in a twist.

    Anytime I can piss off a self-righteous “intellectual” with something as simple as an innocuous blog post about my dog or whatever, it makes me one very happy MF’er.

    My personal opinion is that once, or if ever…let’s be realistic, he gets laid he’ll realize how utterly retarded it is to be a fucking blogger snob. The world will open before his eyes and the realization that he’s been a complete and total asshat for virtually no reason other then to serve his own worthless opinion will crash down on him like a cold wave of human waste.

    You want to impress me dude? Get published by someone we might’ve heard of on a consistant basis. I’m sorry but self-publishing your own blog doesn’t count. Because as you’ve so famously pointed out, any jackoff could do that…even me!

    Although in your warped, psychotic, self-important brain I’m sure you’ve rationalized it all out so that the accumulated bulk of your “work” has somehow made a difference in the world at large. Well, have fun with that delusion douche (no bag, just douche).

    I want you to know that I WHOLEHEARTEDLY welcome your comments or feedback on what I choose to do. My site, and therefore my contact info for brainac-man, is listed above…come and get some and let’s see it you can handle it.

    I’m betting you can’t.

    Because I will absolutely enjoy ripping your throat out with my teeth and spitting the ragged chucks back into your cold dead eyes via my replies.

    Remember, no matter how big an asshole you can be buddy boy, I can be a bigger one…try me and and see if you don’t believe me.


  3. If you Google “Virtual Relationshaping” you’ll find my recently edited post is riding right up his ass. That’s got to totally rankle him. The link takes you to Bowel’s Tony Snow tirade. By the way, I’d like to take that Chocolate Jesus and stick it, well, turn it into a fudge packing one.


  4. Just one more note: Today will be the only day that we’ll bash Douchebag Wacko Bowels. While I think he’s become a sad little man, I don’t want to dwell on the topic. He’s really not worth all the attention today, but let’s just get it out of our systems!


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