Counting Down to the Doors Closing

Today was the first day of my last month at the job where I’ve worked for 13 years. Yesterday, ironically enough, was my 13-year anniversary there. Before this job, I was making a whopping $5.25 an hour wiping runny noses and changing dirty diapers at a daycare in Charlotte because I couldn’t handle grad school.

I couldn’t handle much of anything back then. So when my mom sweetly suggested I could get a job back in Greenville and move back home, I didn’t resist. As a matter of fact, it was kinda like the Road Runner zipping away from the Coyote — nothing but a cloud of dust. I was more than ready to admit defeat, tuck my tail between my legs, and nurse my mental wounds. Luckily, this job opened up a mere couple of weeks after Mom’s suggestion. It was all so easy — everything just falling into place. This time? Not so much.

When I burned that bridge to Rock Hill, I didn’t mourn for any losses. I hadn’t really made any friends, but I hadn’t really tried either since most of the year I was in grad school, I stupidly clung to the redneck loser I was dating.

This time, it’s much different. Part of the reason I stayed so long was because I liked the people I worked with, but I’ve been watching them go. Several of them are good friends. One left in March, two in April, and a guy I’ve known since my first day there (and Cinlach’s former roommate) moved to Charlotte last month.

While on one hand, some might say, “Change is a part of life. You had to move on from high school and college.” But I’m 18 and 14 years respectively removed from those experiences, (Geez, I’m getting so freakin’ old.) and I’ve seen how fragile life is.

There’s a line in a Phil Collins song: (Yes, Phil Collins… shut the frak up!)

The book closes and we try to forget,
But I know that things won’t change
how we feel, how life goes on,
and that seems so strange.

And as strange as that is, that’s what must happen. The job hunt must continue. The doors must close. And I can only hope that we’ll all hold up our ends of the bargain and stay in touch.

Twenty-five days left…

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