The Craft-Challenged Sappy Chick

Somewhere I read an article about how bloggers shouldn’t address posting absences because that only magnifies the fact that they sometimes go long periods of time without posting.

Whatever…

I got a little sidetracked. It happens. But I’m here now, and that’s what matters, right?

I got sidetracked getting some other things in order. Some stuff happened at work — nothing bad, just some rearranging of duties. And then I found some websites (I blame Pinterest!) about getting organized — as in closets, offices, and finances. And I was like, “Oooh, shiny!”

Have I actually done any organizing? Um, not really… Well, the finances, yes. Closets and offices? Not a damn thing…

One of the websites I found talked about getting organized with time management, finances, home management, and meal planning, and I got all excited at the binders and cool fonts and colorful dividers. Then I realized how much crap they’re printing out and dividing and designing and writing down and putting together, and I passed out from exhaustion. I mean, that’s too much freakin’ work. Organizing should not be that hard or time consuming.

One woman had no less than six printouts of finance and budgeting worksheets. Granted, she did say that what works for her doesn’t work for all, and that’s good. Because I took one look at all those printouts and said, “Eff that.” Think of the trees! What I did was create those printed spreadsheets in Excel and have separate tabs for the sheets I found useful.

While I love making lists and writing journal entries and stories with pen and paper, the fact is that I just don’t really have crafting skills. I have no desire to create binders like that. Heck, even the appeal of scrapbooking is lost on me. At college reunions, my former classmates heave binder after binder stuffed with colorful paper, cropped photos with scalloped borders and stickers up on tables for others to see what their families have done. I pull out my phone. I know women who drool over the newest Cricut model. I drool over the new iMac and writing or design software.

I would much rather scan all those photos in the computer and lay them out in InDesign on backgrounds I created in Photoshop with graphics I altered in Illustrator.

The one atrocity that remains from my craft attempts in college...
Behold! The one atrocity that remains from my craft attempts in college. Yes, I wore this in public, but not since 1993.

When I was in college, the trendy craft was decorating sweatshirts and sweatsuits with puff paint and iron-on decals. Mine were hideous — the decals always peeled up at the corners and the paint flaked off. I got maybe two or three wears out of them.

Maybe I would feel differently if I had kids? I kinda doubt it. My mother was never much of a craft person. She sewed a few dresses for me when I was younger, and she usually had to hem my dad’s pants, but that was about it. My grandmother was a seamstress in a shirt factory, and my grandfather took up woodworking in the years before he died. My brother has also become quite the woodworker, starting out with homemade guitars and moving on to beautiful trinket boxes that have me nagging him to open his own Etsy store. So there’s bound to be some sort of craft-like genes in my DNA somewhere, but I haven’t found them yet.

These days, I’m lucky if I can get a button sewed on and lined up with its corresponding hole. I can cook you a mean spaghetti dinner complete with garlic bread that will have you salivating, but please don’t ask me to darn your socks or hem your pants.

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