Mom: It seems like since I’ve gotten this CR-V I don’t drive as fast as I used to. I mean, in my Camry sometimes I’d look down and I’d be flying down the interstate. But right now, here I am going 50 in a 55. (Looks at Nanny) Or is that just me getting old?
Mom: I know you’re one of those who goes 45.
Nanny: 45 is about as fast as I wanna go.
I could not contain my excitement when I saw you speed up to your red light and turn in front of me without the slightest pause — because I realized that the state of South Carolina must have added a new asshole class of driver’s license.
Tell me, how much does it cost to get this special document — because I, too, want not only to run red lights, but also to drive up the wrong side of the road to get to the left-hand turn lane at a red light to avoid that long line of traffic.
You were probably also talking on your mobile phone, but you were driving so fast, I couldn’t get a close look.
And I’m sure this special license absolves you from any blame when your asshole driving causes an accident — especially on a thick-as-pea-soup foggy morning like today and you driving a dark gray car (awesome combination, by the way).
I almost went to the DMV before going to work just so I could go ahead and get that asshole license, but I’ll wait until my lunch break. Who knows? Perhaps one morning I can be an especially douchey driver to you!
The Chick in the Red HHR