Grocery Shopping

Him: What's the ricotta for? Me: I'm going to make pasta-less lasagna with zucchini instead of noodles. Him: Pasta-less lasagna? That's like God-less religion.


In Case I’m Not at Work Tomorrow

The other weekend, Mom had two scratch-off-at-the-register coupons for a department store that had a max discount of 40 percent. She mentioned this to my 86-year-old grandmother who then replied, "Maybe one will be 40 percent. I'll pray about it while we're in the store." When they got to the register, the first coupon was... Continue Reading →

Inside the Actor’s Studio (Hypothetically)

I don't delude myself into thinking I'll ever sit across from James Lipton and answer these questions for him, but I thought this was a fun exercise from The Daily Post: On the interview show Inside the Actors’ Studio, host James Lipton asks each of his guests the same ten questions. What are your responses? 1. What... Continue Reading →

Patient Zero

Today on the way to lunch: Me:  So I told Mom I was going to skip tomorrow. Him:  What's tomorrow? Me:  I was going to go with Mom to take Nanny out to lunch, but I just can't say that I'm completely passed this cold. I just don't want to risk spreading germs that can... Continue Reading →

As My Ovaries Lay Dying

Warning: As noted in the title, this is a discussion about Those Female Lady Parts. So, fellas, if you get squeamish hearing the following words — ovary, period, menstruation, menopause, among others — do yourself a favor and skip this post. I've mentioned before how The Husband and I have had a fair amount of... Continue Reading →

Because I So Rarely Get One Over on Him

Yesterday morning, while getting ready for work... Him: So they've discovered a new element. Me: They did? Him: Yeah, it's called Element 115. Me: Ah Him: It's the heaviest element on Earth. Me: Really? Him: Uranium used to be the heaviest. It's got 92 protons around its nucleus. This one has 115. Me: Oh... Him: Well, to give you an idea? Lead... Continue Reading →

Pillow Talk After 13 Years

It doesn't happen every day, but every once in a while, I get a zinger in... A couple of weeks ago, after turning out the lights to go to bed but continuing to playfully argue back and forth about shutting up and going to sleep, Cinlach proceeded to let out a loud fart. HIM:  Ha... Continue Reading →

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